WTF Friday Rant

Before I begin my Freaky Friday rant, I invite you to look at the postcard below (with the piece of licorice strategically masking my address) and guess what is on the other side of the paper. Just guess. Go hog wild.

And while you consider that, did you know that it is literally against the law for you to request that your own body be tested for something as simple as an allergy without a doctor's permission? To request that your body be tested for say, oh, a peanut allergy without a doctor signature is considered an attempt to practice medicine without a license.

Really?

I found all this out today because I've been wondering lately if I have some allergies I'm not aware of. As far as I know, the only thing I'm allergic to is pumpkin pie (bizarre, I know--but very true). So I called a place today to ask about testing. No one answered, so I dropped in on the way home from work and asked one simple question: "Do you allow self pays to do allergy testing?"

The answer was a condescending lecture on how I was unqualified and incompetent to test my own body for anything. Even (and, heck, maybe most especially) an allergy panel.

Now some of you are saying, "Well, duh, Sheralyn. If you want to be tested for something you go to a doctor and they order the labs. That's just how it is." And sure, when it comes to insurance issues, that makes sense. Thou shalt see all the middle men possible as far as they're concerned. But as a self pay, if I want to see if I'm allergic to grass or wheat, why should I have to pay $100-$200 to walk into a doctor's office, tell them I want the test, and have them check a box on a piece of paper so I can then go to the exact same place to get the same test and the same results? In this situation, the doctor won't do a thing except perhaps suggest more tests (ones that will cover his butt for anything serious that might be wrong so I can't come back and sue him later), and possibly suggest that what my body really needs is Prozac.

If anything insurance companies should smile on self paying people receiving diagnoses while uninsured. This makes the test results a "preexisting condition," and means they don't have to insure it. But I'm sure they see it differently.

I expect the majority of people disagree with me on health care issues, but this just seems so silly to me. Your body cannot be tested for anything at your own request, yet employers can demand it be tested for drugs and they don't need a doctor's signature. Why not? The same labs that claim only a doctor can authorize tests are the same ones who hire their services out to companies for drug testing.

Just sayin'. And before this turns into a rant, I'll quickly return to the original subject.

My postcard. Did you guess what is on the other side? Here it is again, in case you need a second look:

I'm sure you guessed it this time, which means you know that I am now the proud recipient of a freakin' Salt Lake County business license. Their watermark: Diverse Salt Lake County. Because, yes, Salt Lake County is renowned for its diversity.

But a postcard? COME ON! How am I supposed to take them seriously? It's like this should be a temporary thing to make me legit until I can get the real deal.

But no. Business licenses come on postcards now, ya'll. I guess that says something about the proliferation of small businesses. And a year from now I get to pay them another $200 dollars and they'll send me another postcard to frame and call my very own.

All I can say is that today has been a weird day all around... I'm kind of okay with falling asleep tonight and letting tomorrow be a brand new day.

Poor Backcountry.com

As a PR person, emails like the one below have a special place in my heart, so I thought I would share it. I'd give it an introduction, but it really speaks for itself. May it make you happy that you didn't wake up to the hate mail that probably preceded this mass apology letter:

Dear Sheralyn,

We messed up. Yesterday, as the people of Alabama dealt with the devastating aftermath of an intensely damaging and life-taking tornado, we neglected to put a stop to the distribution of an email with the header: "Mother Nature hates you. Deal with it." This was extremely insensitive and offensive, and we are so sorry.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for this mistake. What was intended to be witty marketing copy may have been when we wrote these words two weeks ago, but in light of current events and the suffering of people affected by Mother Nature's wrath, it is not only not witty, it is completely unacceptable.

We at Backcountry.com send our deepest condolences to the families of those who lost their lives and to everyone now faced with rebuilding their homes and their communities. And again, we extend our sincerest apologies for our lack of foresight and our complete insensitivity in sending yesterday's email.

Sincerely,
Jill Layfield
CEO
Backcountry.com

Harry Potter 7, Part 2. Who's Amped?

Warner Brothers released a new HP trailer today. It just warms my heart, and I had to share it.

Enjoy!

What are You Reading?

I've been in a reading slump for a while. I think it came from a year of working with books while writing books at night. Pure over saturation.

But I still like books. I do. I promise. And as books become more and more appealing, I know that I must be careful about what I choose, and at first only pick books I will enjoy. That is why my next YA book will be "Guardians of the Hidden Scepter," by Frank Cole. I saw it in Costco the other day next to the Beyonders. And while I know I want to read Beyonders as well, I just like Frank Cole.

For those of you who have never heard of him, Cole is the author of the Hashbrown Winters juvenile series, and the thing I like about his style is that he's unapologetic in exaggerating. He remembers what it's like to be a kid, when everything was bigger than life and little things were HUGE deals. I remember reading a review before I picked up his first book that compared Hashbrown to Bill Cosby's stylings with the Fat Albert stories and other monologues. The reviewer hit that right on.

I'm not sure Guardians of the Hidden Scepter reads like Hashbrown since it's for a teen audience, but as I come out of my reading funk, I have high hopes that Frank Cole won't send me back into that dark place where I don't want to read anymore.

What about you? What are you reading right now that you really, REALLY like?

Nook or Kindle?

Okay all you e-reading people out there, I *think* I'll be heading into e-reader land in the near future. There will still be some books that I will physically buy, but I'm thinking of taking the dive.

This begs the question: which brand is better? Amazon or Nook?

On principle I like Nook better. They pay the publishers and authors more, which is almost enough to get me to decide right there, but I'm curious about book availability, user friendliness, durability and all that fun stuff of both brands. And since I'm not interested in the Nook Color, that puts Nook and Kindle on a somewhat even playing field.

Since I've worked for B&N I clearly know more about the Nook. Some of the perks I like is that you can loan books to other Nook owners, check books out of the library, and go to a store if you have any issues with the device that you need help with. Does Kindle allow for sharing and checking out books? And how is the customer service?

Those are just some basic questions, but all input is very welcome.

Thanks!

Why I Love My Neighborhood

I move a lot. No one writes down my address in pen, and that's how it's always been. Some people find consistency and routine comforting. To me, they feel like a paralyzing trap--even when I've found the coolest neighborhood to live in. EVER.

It'll be kind of a bummer to move. And to those of you who are saying, "Well, then don't move!" all I can say is that based on the tightness in my chest and the progressively intense grinding of my teeth at night, the time has come.

The good news is that on some levels ANY neighborhood could be my neighborhood--especially when it comes to emergency preparedness. In that department my neighborhood lands in the "Rock Star" category...which I just made up, so don't try googling the term.

And let me immediately make it clear that I do not live around survivalists who are waiting for doomsday while clinging to shotguns. They're just families and grandparents who like to have BBQs and be neighborly while realizing that they live in an earthquake zone that is more than a century overdue for some serious shaking. And should disaster strike?

There is one leader for every 7 houses in my neighborhood, and that leader has 2 sub-captains. Every house knows who their leader is and that should report to them in case of emergency. The leaders have shortwave radios to communicate with and are CERT certified. They make sure their 7 houses have the emergency flags and are instructed on when/how to use them. They also encourage all families have secondary meeting locations in case they are separated in the event of an emergency.

If this isn't enough, one man in the neighborhood has a backhoe, just in case, and certain teens who are highly athletic are designated as "runners" should car travel not be possible. 72-hour kits are standard for each household member, and in addition to the leaders, nearly 50 of the adults living along the 8 streets in our area are CERT certified. Parents of children have certified so that they will be able to get their children in the case that they are separated at the time of an earthquake. Most parents don't know that if an area's roped off, emergency workers aren't going to let them in just because their child is on the other side. Only trained personnel can pass, which includes CERT.

(Overt hint to ALL parents: Get CERT certified. There's absolutely no down side and many of city areas in Utah provide the training for free.)

Be surrounded by this level of preparation will be one of the things I lose when I move. I know, because I've lived in a LOT of areas, and none of them touch the quiet, unassuming neighborhood I reside in now.

*sigh*

It's been nice, though. And hopefully I'll take some of the good along with me to the next place. We all should. Waiting for FEMA in the event of an emergency should be non one's game plan. If it is, see above for some excellent ways to revise it :)

LDS StoryMakers: What do you want to learn?

Last year I attended LDS StoryMakers thinking it would be a cute, local convention. A fun "ra-ra" and gathering of local talent.

I came away highly impressed. The classes were first rate and the information on par with what was presented at BEA a few weeks later.

This year I get to be a presenter. My topic is: Your Marketing Web, and I'm currently putting together the PowerPoint for what will be a very fun class. The class won't be that long, but I wanted to open the floor to requests on subjects that are on your mind right now that I can potentially answer for you regarding marketing plans.

And in case you want to be in my class, I'm teaching on Saturday, although I'm not sure what time. It'll be fun, though, and I'll make sure you walk away empowered and focused :)

March Madness Winners!!!

Thank you all for participating in my March Madness... and for patiently waiting until April 5th to learn who the winners are. Five days. I mean, come on! What took me so long?

So, without further ado, let's announce the souls whose reading habits will be supported by yours truly.

The winners are:

Most reviews posted: Chris (YAY! Congrats and thanks!)

And after a truly fierce game of eenie-meenie-miney-moe--no, kidding. I printed out all your names into hundreds of pieces of confetti and then forced someone else to pick a name, so I could ensure there was absolutely NO favoritism in the choosing of the winner.

And the random winner, chosen by a random person from a fully random dish someone bought for me at DI, is: Mindy.

Double YAY!

Congratulations to you both. Email me and let me know if you want you gift cards to be for Barnes & Noble or Amazon, and if you want a real gift card or an e-card.

So many choices, I know. Life's hard :)