WTF Friday Rant

Before I begin my Freaky Friday rant, I invite you to look at the postcard below (with the piece of licorice strategically masking my address) and guess what is on the other side of the paper. Just guess. Go hog wild.

And while you consider that, did you know that it is literally against the law for you to request that your own body be tested for something as simple as an allergy without a doctor's permission? To request that your body be tested for say, oh, a peanut allergy without a doctor signature is considered an attempt to practice medicine without a license.

Really?

I found all this out today because I've been wondering lately if I have some allergies I'm not aware of. As far as I know, the only thing I'm allergic to is pumpkin pie (bizarre, I know--but very true). So I called a place today to ask about testing. No one answered, so I dropped in on the way home from work and asked one simple question: "Do you allow self pays to do allergy testing?"

The answer was a condescending lecture on how I was unqualified and incompetent to test my own body for anything. Even (and, heck, maybe most especially) an allergy panel.

Now some of you are saying, "Well, duh, Sheralyn. If you want to be tested for something you go to a doctor and they order the labs. That's just how it is." And sure, when it comes to insurance issues, that makes sense. Thou shalt see all the middle men possible as far as they're concerned. But as a self pay, if I want to see if I'm allergic to grass or wheat, why should I have to pay $100-$200 to walk into a doctor's office, tell them I want the test, and have them check a box on a piece of paper so I can then go to the exact same place to get the same test and the same results? In this situation, the doctor won't do a thing except perhaps suggest more tests (ones that will cover his butt for anything serious that might be wrong so I can't come back and sue him later), and possibly suggest that what my body really needs is Prozac.

If anything insurance companies should smile on self paying people receiving diagnoses while uninsured. This makes the test results a "preexisting condition," and means they don't have to insure it. But I'm sure they see it differently.

I expect the majority of people disagree with me on health care issues, but this just seems so silly to me. Your body cannot be tested for anything at your own request, yet employers can demand it be tested for drugs and they don't need a doctor's signature. Why not? The same labs that claim only a doctor can authorize tests are the same ones who hire their services out to companies for drug testing.

Just sayin'. And before this turns into a rant, I'll quickly return to the original subject.

My postcard. Did you guess what is on the other side? Here it is again, in case you need a second look:

I'm sure you guessed it this time, which means you know that I am now the proud recipient of a freakin' Salt Lake County business license. Their watermark: Diverse Salt Lake County. Because, yes, Salt Lake County is renowned for its diversity.

But a postcard? COME ON! How am I supposed to take them seriously? It's like this should be a temporary thing to make me legit until I can get the real deal.

But no. Business licenses come on postcards now, ya'll. I guess that says something about the proliferation of small businesses. And a year from now I get to pay them another $200 dollars and they'll send me another postcard to frame and call my very own.

All I can say is that today has been a weird day all around... I'm kind of okay with falling asleep tonight and letting tomorrow be a brand new day.