Monday, February 27, 2012

Dreams, Pipe Cleaner People, and Duller Action Items

So, last night I had a dream. I'm sure I dream every night, but I rarely remember dreams. Once a month, maybe. Usually less. So I'm always curious if there's any meaning to the dreams I do remember... and on some occasions I actually worry that there might be meaning to them.

Healthy, happy, brains intact.
For instance: Last night I dreamed that I removed my dog's brain. Then, when she started acting lethargic (you know, because her brain was no longer connected to the rest of her), I put the brain back in. When she didn't get back to normal right away, I got a cat for her to chase--which she did.

Welcome to my land of dreams... a world I don't pretend to understand. But that's why other people who think they understand them write books, right? So people like me can put my faith in them when I dream about bizarre-o stuff.

So, alarmed at what this dream might mean, I turned to the dream dictionary a former roommate gave me many moons ago and opened it to "brain." On the subject of brains it reads: "Pleasant and/or profitable news from an unexpected quarter is forecast in a brain featuring animal brains..."

Really? I don't even want to know how anyone EVER figured that out! But still, I liked it. It's better than what I was thinking. It's the kind of prediction I can get behind so today I've been focusing on things that I feel have the potential to pay off--as opposed to things I do because they're fun and maybe-might pay off. There's a difference. We all know that, and yet it doesn't make it easier to re-focus.

The "Buffalo Wing"
So today I've been making lame illustrations for one of my pet projects. And when I say lame, I mean L-A-M-E (see image). But hey, we all have our Tim Gunn "make it work" moments. I don't think Tim Gunn would be at all impressed with this solution, but it's better than nothing... maybe.

Other than pipe cleaner yoga poses, the other thing on today's menu is an edit of what I'm calling "The Avenues." This is the novella that covers the time between books 1 and 2 from Ty's perspective. The story has always been there in my head, but I was about half way through writing book 5 when one of you readers once again pointed out how smart you all are. (That's one of the things I like most about readers who are loyal to Rhea: as a rule, you are all very, very smart.) I had already been debating whether or not certain information needed to be made public or if it was fine staying in the background when I was led to a blog where someone was asking every question "The Avenues" answers. It was at that moment that I said, "You know, even if it's just for this person, it's worth it to put it out there. I'll just write it fast, not obsess over it, and make it an ebook that people can read if they choose to. No loss if they don't, but extra insight if they do."

So, that's "The Avenues." And while it did take a week or so away from "Unpleasant Grove," book 5 is still on schedule and I'm sooooo excited to get it into your hands. I hope you love the ride into book 6, which is pretty much the most fun LDS fiction can be, if you ask me.

But as for today, I'm focusing on Pipe Cleaner people and edits of a novella as I await pleasant and/or profitable news from an unexpected quarter. It's like waiting for Christmas when you don't know what day it lands on. Looking forward to it whenever... *checks watch* Seriously, any time now. :)

Sunday, February 19, 2012

No. Way.

If there is one thing to be said for the human body, it is that we have no idea what it is capable of. I'm in the middle of writing Rhea right now and I have to confess that she pushes herself to be quite capable but in every realm I see examples of people around us who would smoke her in a duel.

One of them is this guy. If you feel like having your mind blown, check out the video below.


Friday, February 17, 2012

Fun for Friday

This stolen from FunnyorDie, author Joe Burton. Gotta share the things that make us smile :)






WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People -- 
What do you expect from such simple creatures? 
Your last name stays put. 
The garage is all yours. 
Wedding plans take care of themselves. 
Chocolate is just another snack. 
You can never be pregnant. 
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. 
Car mechanics tell you the truth. 
The world is your urinal. 
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. 
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
Same work, more pay. 
Wrinkles add character. 
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. 
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. 
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
One mood all the time. 
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
know stuff about tanks. 
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 
You can open all your own jars. 
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 
If someone forgets to invite you, 
He or she can still be your friend. 
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 
You almost never have strap problems in public. 
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 
Everything on your face stays its original color. 
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 
You only have to shave your face and neck. 
You can play with toys all your life. 
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. 
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. 
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. 
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. 

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and Chuck go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.


EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Chuck will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. 
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. 
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, 
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed..
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and 
romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Ninja Marketing Myths

Hey there!

For those of you who missed the Ninja Novel Writing Convention online this past Saturday, I thought I would just post my little piece of it here for anyone who is interested. Feel free to shout out any of the many myths I missed :)



Marketing Myths Writing Ninjas Must Defy
By: Sheralyn Pratt

Ninjas, at their cores, are rebels. They’re not up in everyone’s face about it, though. Ninjas know that in their day-to-day lives they must appear normal, even ordinary. But when certain things need to be done? They don the persona of an icon and take care of business.

Such is necessary for authors looking to market their books.

You’re reading this article right now because you’re looking for a marketing plan. Maybe this is your first time out of the gate and you’re revved up and ready to go, or maybe you’ve been around the block a couple of times and looking for something new. Either way, you’ve no doubt heard a LOT of advice and been given a lot of to-do items.

But you’re a ninja now. And ninjas don’t uphold the status quo. They take it out with a puff dart and disappear into shadow, leaving others to wonder what in the world just happened.

Ninjas introduce change.

More importantly, ninjas don’t do things half way or  give up because the task is harder than they originally planned. Once a ninja accepts an assignment, success is the only acceptable outcome. That said, are you ready to become a ninja? Because it means doing things a little differently and never giving up. It means scrapping all the rules “specialists” give you if they don’t get you where you want to be. The fact is, to be remembered and get where you want to be, you need to introduce change. This means that there are some rules you MUST break if you want to be a ninja marketer.

Here are 5 of them.


MYTH #1: THINK BIG

Nearly every first-time author falls into this trap because, to them, the publishing business is still just a fantasy and it’s easy to imagine themselves as a rising star. But guess what? Ninjas don’t live and operate as if hypothetical, idealized futures are fated to become a reality. They operate in the here and now, focused on a goal. If it’s not relevant to the moment, a ninja probably isn’t thinking about it and neither should you!

Think of your task—what’s sitting right in front of you. Not a fantasy situation where you are carried on the shoulders of an adoring crowd. (Unless, of course, that IS what you’re dealing with in the moment. Then by all means, ride that pony!)

But DON’T think big. Think NOW.

Granted, thinking big is good if you have big money and tons of manpower, but chances are you don’t. I don’t know how many authors I’ve worked with that say something like, “Well, if I could just get an ad in (insert your favorite large paper’s name here), my sales would jump!” They dream up a fantasy situation that hands them success with little-to-no effort on their part and sigh with longing.

Such fantasies are a feel-good lie. If it were that easy, everyone would be doing it.

You are an author. You create content that people will either value or they won’t, which means your best endorsements will ALWAYS come by word of mouth. Always. (Although your cover and synopsis definitely help, too.) Your goals are to:

  1. Get people to read your book
  2. Get them to talk about it favorably


There are as many ways to do this as there are people on this planet, but as a ninja, you need to take stock of your current environment and work with what you’ve got—not what could be. What is. The fact is that you’re small and your greatest battles will be one on small battlegrounds in the beginning of your career. Your overall plan for literary domination can be as big as you want it to be. In fact, your overall vision should be epic. But do NOT let your marketing approach and investments get caught up in the emotion of your vision.

Always THINK NOW, until the day comes where thinking big is part of your now. Then, and only then, will you know the best move to make going forward.


MYTH #2: DO WHAT YOU LOVE, THE MONEY WILL FOLLOW

This mantra has its place, but it’s not in marketing. Unless you’re a full-blooded narcissist, self-promotion is one of the most uncomfortable things you will do. It just is.

So hint: if you’re not uncomfortable when you’re marketing, you’re not doing everything you can.
If your book is like having the family you always wanted and living in the house you always imagined, then marketing is the job you go to everyday to make sure you can make the mortgage payments.

In short, marketing is work. So unless you’ve mastered the Zen art of turning work into joyous play, then chances are you’re going to have your moments of wanting to stop paddling mid-stream while marketing. Normal people do give up when the going gets uncomfortable.

Ninjas don’t.


MYTH #3: AIM FOR YOUR GOALS

If you’ve taken any form of martial art, you know that when striking a nose, you don’t aim for the nose. You aim six inches behind it. If you want to break a board, you don’t aim for the board. You aim behind it. Breaking the board is incidental to getting where you’re going.

There are many ways this rule applies to ninja marketing.

Yes, you want to “break your board” but achieving your goal is incidental to aiming somewhere else.
The first example that comes to mind relates to signings. Few authors like doing unpublicized signings where you feel like you’re guilting passersby into buying your book.  Still, these authors may go to their signing and say to themselves, “I want to sell twenty books.”

Well, here’s another hint: authors who go into a signing with the sole goal of selling X number of books probably aren’t going to sell that many unless they have a solid elevator speech down and a very universal book. You know what most authors do who have the art of signing down? They don’t go in wanting to sell X number of books. They go in trying to create X number of impressions.

·         I will sign 50 people up for my newsletter.
·         I will talk to 100 people.
·         I’m taking 200 bookmarks and not leaving with any.
·         I will learn every employee’s name on duty and leave a store copy of my book for them to read.

Things like that—things that actually connect you with people and create an open a dialogue. Things that people will remember about you and be able to talk about to others.

“Oh, I met that author at Costco. She was way nice and her book sounded interesting.”

That statement goes a lot further in advancing your cause than:

“Oh, I met that author at Costco one day. SO pushy! It took me like five minutes to get away from him.”

Remember, people rarely buy anything the first time they see it unless they are highly incentivized by an experience or an endorsement that they trust implicitly. On average, people need 7-20 exposures before they will give something a try. Remember that, and make it your goal to create as many impressions as possible to the same target demographic. Then the sales will come.

MYTH #4: PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
The most damaging lies are the ones that sound good—the ones that seem like they should be true. Practice makes perfect. Sounds good, right? All your effort turning into something perfect over time? But any ninja can tell you that practice does not make perfect.

Practice makes habit.

If you practice something wrong over and over and over, you will do it wrong very well. And you will likely become so entrenched and invested in doing it wrong that you will not be open to helpful directions from someone who sees your error. After all, you’ve put so much effort in mastering how to do it poorly.

Just because you’ve always done something a certain way, doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re getting the best benefit out of what you’re doing. The #1 thing you can do is keep an open ear when people around you mention things they see that are problematic. And when I say this, I’m talking mainly about outsiders who have no emotional involvement in your book or its marketing. People who are just going about their day, see what you’re doing and say, “Um, based on my experience, this might work for you.”
These are people to listen to.

For example, for several years I coached students who competed in the Sport Karate circuit. My specialty was forms. Yes, I did choreography but the real reason people came to me was to get rid of the flaws in their technique that would lead to a series of minor deductions that could potentially take them off the podium. As a coach, I didn’t care how advanced their routine was or how many flips they did. I cared if their kick was a kick, their punch was a punch, and whether they knew how to land in a stance.

Most didn’t.

They were so caught up in being flashy, that they literally couldn’t even stand correctly. If I were to hold something up in front of their punch while they were doing their form, they’d likely break a wrist. Many of these students were so interested in looking cool that the basics had suffered. As a result, they were coming to me baffled that they were losing in competitions when they could land a 720 or do a back flip out of a ball kick.

The diagnosis was simple: they had practiced imperfectly, and now were only capable of doing very flawed forms with a whole lot of attitude and confidence.

It takes a lot of humility to go back to the basics once you think they no longer apply to you. Some of my students didn’t. They were convinced that it didn’t matter what their feet looked like when they landed or how solid their punch was before they moved into a barrel role. They saw me as a killjoy for stopping them after the first kick of their form, correcting them, and making them drill something as simple as a sidekick. I mean, c’mon! They were black belts and that was white belt stuff.

Needless to say, those students didn’t have many sessions with me and went on to find coaches that said things they wanted to hear, all the while continuing to be baffled—claiming tournaments were rigged when they continued not to place.

I’ll bet you can tell me what happened with the students who went back to the basics, practiced them perfectly, and created new habits, though.

Be open to casual critiques—especially if the person making them has nothing to gain or lose by you following their advice.


MYTH #5: BE YOURSELF
Another dangerous lie, so seductive because it seems so inherently true. But tell me, are ninjas “themselves”? Do they show up to “work” in what they wear around the house?

No. They don’t. We all know a ninja when we see them, because we know what they wear. And when people see you, they need to know they’re seeing an author.

Embrace it: you’re an author. People WANT you to have some level of prestige and mystique. They want to remember you. They want to look at you and see something that compels them to read what you have written. As a rule, you are selling them fantasy—an escape. So don’t show up looking like someone who lives down the street. They know that story.

Embody your work in how you present yourself. Let readers see what they’re buying the moment they see you and your set up. Let the people stop who are on your wave length and let those who hurry past hurry past. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who will politely hear you out and then run away as soon as there’s an opening because you write romance and he’s a fifty-year-old divorced man who only reads presidential biographies.

Let him go… with a bookmark if that’s one of your goals, but let that fish swim!

Representing your protagonists and NOT being yourself is one of the best things you can do at a signing. After all, very few readers actually care about you, personally. No offense, but they don’t. You are a ninja to them—mysterious. The messenger. Most people imagine authors are some elusive creature that sees the world in a way they just can’t.

Embrace the legacy authors before you have established. Build on it! Because here’s another hint: If you shatter or are unable to maintain that illusion, people will just assume you’re not a good author, which only makes them feel better about not getting your book.

IN CONCLUSION:
Remember, to be a ninja you must defy the status quo. You must live in the now and resist the pull to live and act as if your imaginings of the future hold sway in the present. You must leave your comfort zone and do things that lie outside your fantasy plan but will be highly effective in reality. You need to aim beyond the mark of simply creating book sales to creating positive impressions, while realizing that doing what you’ve always done may not be the best option. You may need to have objective third parties take a look at your trajectory and then listen to changes they think you should consider. And you also need to realize that being perceived as an author is more important to readers than being perceived as you. Like a ninja, you need to personify what you’re about when you go to task. Leave the ordinary you at home, and go out and kick some butt.

That’s how ninjas get the job done.



Thursday, February 2, 2012

Meet Up With Me Online or In Person This Weekend


In case we aren't Facebook friends and you haven't heard yet, this weekend is going to be a fun one. If you have time between 1-4 pm this Saturday, meet me and dozens of other authors at the South Towne Barnes & Noble Authorpalooza (just north of the South Towne Mall, next to Target).

And just in case you're on the fence whether to come, anyone who stops by and leaves their email address will get a free Rhea Jensen tie-in novella from me in the next few weeks. And no, I won't put your email address on a spam list or anything. You'll just get the book the second it comes out :)

But say you don't live in the Salt Lake area. That's okay, because I will also be participating in the Ninja Novel Conference. If you're a writer, check it out! You will meet great people and learn a TON!

So that's what I'm doing this weekend... followed by a little UFC.

Hope to see you online or in person, and have a great weekend!