I feel like a first-time author all over again with this book. It's new, it's risky, and it has it's little fingers wrapped around my heart. As a storyteller, all I can do is pray I got it right. No one's read it, except for my editor. That's equally freaky. I like to have a set of sample readers to give me feedback--and I always get awesome feedback that shapes the book in some great way. This time it's just me, the muse, and a keyboard. No feedback.
Can you see why I'm freaked?
It's hard to talk about details unless you've read the book, so just know that I'm looking forward to talking to all those who are the first to finish it. This story isn't the next Rhea mystery so much as it is Kay inserting herself and saying, "Hey. Look, if you're going to keep reading Rhea's books (or understand vague parts in previous books), you should probably know a few things about Rhea. And since she won't tell you out of respect for me, it becomes my job to fill you in. But make no mistake. This doesn't mean I like you. If we met each other on the street we wouldn't talk. We both know that. But you like Rhea, and unless you know a little bit more about her and how she became who she is, the choices she makes in the future won't make much sense to you. So here it is... my story. No fluff, but all the stuff I really wish I could keep secret. But you need to know."
Writing Kay is a lot more vulnerable for me than writing Rhea. Rhea's tougher. More practical. She's emotional, but she has the background of a soul who was raised with love and support, in addition to being taught to see her own value. She has money, family, friends, and a brilliant mind. No matter how beat up she gets, she can only fall so far.
Kay is not so blessed, nor does she have Rhea's resilient shell. Stepping into Kay's shoes leaves me feeling a lot more naked. She has every reason to give up and forget her dreams. She has demons, wounds, fears, and no safety net outside of Rhea. She is miserable at the same time she is driven. In a word, she is: flawed.
I love her for both her brusqueness and vulnerability... and I hope you do too.
That concludes my midnight musings. *Phew* That was oddly cathartic. In this moment, I'm not nervous. We'll see if the feeling comes back. But really, I hope you love all the upcoming books, including City Limits, which I am launching this Saturday at the Fort Union Deseret Book Ladies' Night from 6-8 pm.
See you there!